Something New

I was thinking of making a category for New Stuff that I or we try. And whether it's a hit or miss.

Trail Mix. I have documented in my header that I am in love with a certain trail mix that my dealer, I mean FRIEND, Carrie got me into. Seriously, it was like she was lonely in her own addiction so she got me hooked too. Well it costs a couple of dollars per 5.5oz bag AND like a zillion calories per bag AND I can eat a whole bag easy. Which doesn't help my muffin-top any. So I bought some stuff and made my own mix. I mixed together a store-made raisin & nut mix with craisins and yogurt covered raisins. I omitted the granola because while SO YUMMY it is where most of the fat is. So this'll do in between splurges on the real thing.

Yogurt Raisins. Because he's always trying to dip into whatever I'm eating, Liam has discovered he likes Trail Mix too. He seems to like the yogurt-covered raisins the best. So there you go - a new snack for Liam.

Turkey Meatballs. We are trying to eat a bit better. So I was at the grocery store and decided I was going to make some turkey meatballs to go with some pasta for dinner. Right next to the ground turkey meat was Perrdue's Turkey Meatballs. Feeling a little TIRED from Shea's more recent sleep habits or LACKTHEREOF, I decided to opt for the easy way out and bought the meatballs. They were really pretty good for a store-bought meatball! I mean they are small and maybe a bit more spongey than a homemade meatball... but the flavor was quite good. So good to have the next time I'm feeling lazy. Liam loved them.

Apple TV. Dan just got this and we haven't hooked it up yet but apparently we can put our DVDs on it so we won't have to shuffle through Cars Movie, Thomas & Friends, Mickey's Christmas and whatever else to get a movie on. You can also rent movies through iTunes on your tv and watch YouTube. I'm not really sure what else it can do but I'll keep you posted.

Not Yet a Big Boy

Something about this picture just makes me want to cry. His legs are getting skinny and long... under the pants the babyfat indents are almost completely gone. Thank God in front of him he is holding and loving on a stuffed puppy. He's still a little guy to me. Even as today he asked me, "Mama? What does it mean to be a big boy?"

Tummy Trouble

I really want to stop going to our playgroup. It's not so much that I don't like the moms. Or the kids. It's that right now it consists of two other mothers who, between them, have SIX children and another on the way. Two sets of twins. It's a lot overwhelming.

I just want OUT. But I hate to cancel on them as a number of other women have already. I also feel badly because I feel like I need to get Shea around some babies or something... because maybe that would help his developmental motivation. Cause right now Shea is opting out of rolling, laying on his stomach and any type of crawl - army or hands and knees.

I am worried as he still seems to fall over a bunch when sitting. It's the head size making it hard for him to find balance. Especially when he starts getting tired. Oh and when he bakes a stinkloaf in his diaper, he hates sitting on it so he throws himself back. So there are still pillows around him when he sits.

I am assuming if he isn't doing better with the tummy time by his 9 month appt we may end up with EI or something coming to investigate. I don't pick him up as soon as he starts complaining on his tummy. I even let him cry a bit. Then when it gets to the crying-face-down-no-recovery I pick him up. Usually by then he's so pissed off he has to be walked and calmed down. So if the EI frickers come in here and say I need to let him be frustrated I may lose my shit on them.

Tummy time usually starts out ok. I'm encouraging, I try to engage him with fun things like new toys, forbidden objects like the remote, silly things like bubbles or Liam's faces. Shea can push up and straighten his elbows. Soon he tires because of his head weight and he goes down. He pushes up like this a few more times and then stops trying. He does move his body left or right about 45 degrees. If I put my hands behind his feet, he will push on them a few times. But after about 10 minutes or 15-20 on a good session - he is done. He whines a little. Sometimes he just puts his head down and to the side and plays with the blanket or chews on a toys he's successfully grabbed. But it's not long before he's hating life and I have to get him up.

I know every child progresses at their own rate. And I know that his body is trying to support his head and gain strength but I just feel like I'm failing him somehow. I do not carry him around all day long. I sit him down and walk in and out of the room as I need to. I want him to know that I have legs that move me around. We all crawl around the floor at his level so he can see. I have tried to teach him how to move his arms to roll easier.

No use.

I'm glad he's healthy and seems to be happy for the most part. I just have this feeling in my stomach that a mother gets when her child seems to have something a bit wrong and she can't just make it right.

Broiled Tilapia Parmesan

Last night I made this tilapia recipe. It has a very strong parmesan tangy flavor...next time I'd probably spread less of the cheese mixture on the fish. I also only got 1lb of tilapia which was plenty for the 3 of us. Both Dan and Liam liked it.

Broiled Tilapia Parmesan

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup butter, softened (I used 1/8 cup)
3 tablespoons mayonnaise (I used 2tbsp of light mayo)
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon onion powder
1/8 teaspoon celery salt
2 pounds tilapia fillets (I made 1lb of tilapia)

DIRECTIONS
Preheat your oven's broiler. Grease a broiling pan or line pan with aluminum foil.
In a small bowl, mix together the Parmesan cheese, butter, mayonnaise and lemon juice. Season with dried basil, pepper, onion powder and celery salt. Mix well and set aside.

Arrange fillets in a single layer on the prepared pan. Broil a few inches from the heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip the fillets over and broil for a couple more minutes.

Remove the fillets from the oven and cover them with the Parmesan cheese mixture on the top side. Broil for 2 more minutes or until the topping is browned and fish flakes easily with a fork. Be careful not to over cook the fish.

Testing

I've been trying to embed this video in Wordpress on the boys blog but cannot seem to make it work. Let's try here...



Shea Meets Biter Biscuit from Sue O'Neill on Vimeo.

New Boys Blog

This is probably getting REALLY OLD to everyone but I am switching out the old Raising Liam blog with a new Raising the Boys blog. I'm going to "tell the world" according to THAT blog tomorrow but thought I'd let anyone who reads here take a peek early. MY husband will occaisionally post on that blog as well. But he's been working late every freaking night this week and only just LOOKED at it last night. Oh and he bought the domain name raisingtheboys.com as well so hoping to point the blog to that domain tonight. No posts from him yet.

That is all peeps! Be sassy!

Sparkle

I have been floating around in this weird feeling over the course of the past two weeks. It has sort of surprised me and I've been trying to put a finger on it but over the weekend I realized what was going on.

I'm happy.

There is that song that goes "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" Well yeah. I FEEL that. And I think I didn't realize how cloudy and mucked up my head was until it was raked out. I don't want to go on and on about the miracle of drugs but SHIT. I was more of a headcase than I even realized.

It was as if instead of wearing rose-colored glasses... I was wearing shit-brown ones. And everything was heavy and weighed me down.

I guess it was weighing me down a lot more than I could self-diagnose. And I think my meds in conjunction with my resolution to focus on me and my growth/well-being/health have put me back into the land of the living. Not just breathing...but exhaling instead of holding my breath.

And I recognized this feeling... this happiness... when I came to the realization that if it all ended tomorrow (not to be morbid) then I have already lived my happily ever after. I love my husband beyond words and feel truly loved by him. I have two beautiful GOOD boys who are symbols of that love and make my days truly meaningful... evening if the meaning is frustration or exhaustion. I have come to peace with my family, especially my relationship with my brother. While there are always friendships I'd like to strengthen and self-improvement to accomplish... I am happy with my life. I am not wishing I were somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else, BEING someone else.

I am doing exactly what I have always wanted to do. And I'm starting to REALIZE it. I guess this is what they call "living in the now."

I don't think I'm the best I can be but that's ok too. It gives me somewhere to go.

So it's grey and cloudy, more snow is on the way, the boys both have runny noses. But let the sun shine in. Let it shine.