Next time I go and talk about either of my children's sleep in a positive way, please just slap me. The past two nights have been back to hell. Friday night Shea woke every half hour I SWEAR between 3-7am. Last night it was every hour or so between 2:30-6:30am. BOTH NIGHTS Liam came and asked to get in bed with us around 2 am. Friday night was at my side of the bed, last night he went to his dad.
Dan was sitting still on the couch late this afternoon giving Shea a bottle. He looked at me and said "I'm so tired all of a sudden."
I said, "If you stop moving, it hits you worse. You have to keep moving." Because seriously? If I sit in one spot and I'm not concentrating on something... the kids, a tv show or the computer... I'm out like a light.
I quote a Garth Brooks song when I say "I'm much too young to feel this damn old..."
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Aw crap
I'm an idiot. I was just about to start writing this post... some sort of deep and meaningful soul searching bullshit and I realized the time. YEAH. What the hell am I thinking? It's PAST 11 pm and my second born is SURE to start whimpering/crying for his pacifier soon. Which makes for a long friggin night and this time - the block from about 10pm - 2am is usually when I get my solid sleep in. I've read that getting 4 hours of consecutive sleep can keep someone from truly losing their mind. I believe I can attest to this on the day after a particularly bad night.
Shea has been better.. I'm trying to get him to do the 2 - 3 (or 2) - 4 schedule. Translation: wakes up in the morning then 2 hours later a nap - wakes from nap then 2-3 hours later another nap - and then after that nap - bedtime 4 hours later. That has helped because he's so damn tired by 6:30-7pm that he passes out cold, pacifier be damned... at least til about 4:30-5am. Which is AMAZING when you go from waking every 1-2 hours. The poor things teeth aren't helping though. I gave him some motrin or Tylenol before bed the past few nights. There is one that has cut through and I can feel the second one still under the gum. Both are the bottom front teeth. He hasn't been the most fun lately but he's still a good boy. When I go in to get him from his naps he is SO HAPPY to see me and I always pick him up and just hold him and hug him for a few beats before changing him. After me being a head case his first 5 months of life I am trying SO HARD to make sure he really feels safe and loved.
Now that I say that it probably sounds like he wasn't safe. He was. But I can say I had to put him down and walk away more than once to clear my head and pull my shit together. And I can say that I was impatient with him or Liam or NOTHING a lot and I know he picked up on that. Not the lovefest he deserves. But I am trying to make up for it. I still give him plenty of time to work on things himself...sitting, gross motor skills, etc, but any time I hold him I try to just POUR into him how much I love and adore him. That he is so loved and so badly wanted.
Liam loves Shea already so much. When he isn't with him, Liam misses Shea and he is always asking where Seamus is. The first thing he does when he comes downstairs after a nap (that is...if he woke up happy) is give Shea a hug and kiss. And when I pick him up from preschool he gets in the van and leans over, "Is Shea awake, Mama?"
Well I guess I am rambling and waxing poetic anyway... it's almost 11:30 I am so going to regret this in the morning. Dan is playing Madden on the PS3... he finally got it for himself. It looks crazy on the tv - like a real football game. In fact, in the game he is playing now - it is snowing. And he's always the Patriots. ALWAYS.
Ok I'm gonna get to going. Need to pop the happy pill and get to bed. Maybe Shea will whine once he hears me moving around up there and I can get the first re-pacification out of the way. Dan gets up with Shea a lot - I think because the happy pills make me drowsy so I don't always stir when Shea wakes. Seems like Dan is getting up more now that I'm on the pills.
Like I SAID.... GET TO GOING!
Shea has been better.. I'm trying to get him to do the 2 - 3 (or 2) - 4 schedule. Translation: wakes up in the morning then 2 hours later a nap - wakes from nap then 2-3 hours later another nap - and then after that nap - bedtime 4 hours later. That has helped because he's so damn tired by 6:30-7pm that he passes out cold, pacifier be damned... at least til about 4:30-5am. Which is AMAZING when you go from waking every 1-2 hours. The poor things teeth aren't helping though. I gave him some motrin or Tylenol before bed the past few nights. There is one that has cut through and I can feel the second one still under the gum. Both are the bottom front teeth. He hasn't been the most fun lately but he's still a good boy. When I go in to get him from his naps he is SO HAPPY to see me and I always pick him up and just hold him and hug him for a few beats before changing him. After me being a head case his first 5 months of life I am trying SO HARD to make sure he really feels safe and loved.
Now that I say that it probably sounds like he wasn't safe. He was. But I can say I had to put him down and walk away more than once to clear my head and pull my shit together. And I can say that I was impatient with him or Liam or NOTHING a lot and I know he picked up on that. Not the lovefest he deserves. But I am trying to make up for it. I still give him plenty of time to work on things himself...sitting, gross motor skills, etc, but any time I hold him I try to just POUR into him how much I love and adore him. That he is so loved and so badly wanted.
Liam loves Shea already so much. When he isn't with him, Liam misses Shea and he is always asking where Seamus is. The first thing he does when he comes downstairs after a nap (that is...if he woke up happy) is give Shea a hug and kiss. And when I pick him up from preschool he gets in the van and leans over, "Is Shea awake, Mama?"
Well I guess I am rambling and waxing poetic anyway... it's almost 11:30 I am so going to regret this in the morning. Dan is playing Madden on the PS3... he finally got it for himself. It looks crazy on the tv - like a real football game. In fact, in the game he is playing now - it is snowing. And he's always the Patriots. ALWAYS.
Ok I'm gonna get to going. Need to pop the happy pill and get to bed. Maybe Shea will whine once he hears me moving around up there and I can get the first re-pacification out of the way. Dan gets up with Shea a lot - I think because the happy pills make me drowsy so I don't always stir when Shea wakes. Seems like Dan is getting up more now that I'm on the pills.
Like I SAID.... GET TO GOING!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Whole Lotta Nothin
I just realized a week has past since my last post here - not that I'm really keeping track - just noticing that it is indicative of weeks that are busier than others. Between the snow dumping on Monday which kept Dan at home (and me needing to keep the kids out of his hair or quiet during a phone call), Tuesday was a school day, Wednesday we had Mikayla and Marianne over and now it's Thursday which is another school day.
School days fly by for me. I was really productive this week during Liam's 3 hours of school. I did some secret cleaning in the guest room closet. It was scary in there - blankets and drapes just thrown basically to get out of the way. This house kills me in some ways as it has loads of closet space yet the builder did not make any specific linen closets with multiple shelves? So Dan made one in the upstairs hallway but it's not big enough for everything. Actually I'm just still trying to figure out organizing multiple bathrooms and closets and all that crap.
My goal for this week is to make the house passable for anyone wanting to wander around on Sunday after Shea's baptism. Typically people don't go upstairs and if they do I close the door to my bedroom (where things go to die... or be put in storage boxes etc.).
Things around here are looking better... the new tv and console in the living room, the beginnings of the playroom storage already in place (just waiting for Pottery Barn to get off it's ass and get the rest in store for us), the new stools finally for the breakfast bar in the kitchen, putting the changing table in the first floor bathroom and removing the pack n' play changing table/bassinet from the living room, splitting Liam's furniture so he has the tall bureau and Shea has the changing table dresser, and getting the last of the stuff out of the garage and so both our cars fit in there. I am in search for a new area rug for the living room - the one we got "on sale" sheds like a BITCH! Worse than two dogs if you can believe it. And when we have playdates the kids get the stuff on their pants and of course it looks like dog hair and I KNOW that the moms think it's from the dogs. But no! It's the friggin rug!
I'm much more reticent here to put things up such as curtains or even blinds just to do it. My mom is like "When are you getting curtains up in the living room?" "When are you getting blinds for the guest room." Well Ma we aren't getting $5 blinds at Home Depot... our blinds are at least $100/window (except the boys rooms which we are using cheaper shades because Dan remembers yanking his off the window a few times aas a child and we aren't going there with $100 window treatments). I am not in any rush to hang shit up I guess. I guess maybe the living room looks a bit more stark without them... but I just want to get good quality stuff. And we aren't printing money over here so it's going to take a while. We've only had two overnight guests since we moved in and both got up before the sun anyway.
But I'm feeling good about where were are at with the house stuff. This summer will bring a shed, irrigation system and swingset/play structure. I really want some type of chaise for my bedroom and a leather club chair for the living room. Our couches will have to wait til the kids are bigger. We are also going to get a small pub table and stools for the eating area of the kitchen. But we are waiting til the right one comes up... haven't found the right one that will also fit in the smallish space.
Ok Hip Hop Harry (LAMEST SHOW EVER) is on and Shea will likely be awake soon so I need to get Liam's school clothes picked out and the house picked up a bit. Oh yeah and laundry flipped and dinner planned and...
School days fly by for me. I was really productive this week during Liam's 3 hours of school. I did some secret cleaning in the guest room closet. It was scary in there - blankets and drapes just thrown basically to get out of the way. This house kills me in some ways as it has loads of closet space yet the builder did not make any specific linen closets with multiple shelves? So Dan made one in the upstairs hallway but it's not big enough for everything. Actually I'm just still trying to figure out organizing multiple bathrooms and closets and all that crap.
My goal for this week is to make the house passable for anyone wanting to wander around on Sunday after Shea's baptism. Typically people don't go upstairs and if they do I close the door to my bedroom (where things go to die... or be put in storage boxes etc.).
Things around here are looking better... the new tv and console in the living room, the beginnings of the playroom storage already in place (just waiting for Pottery Barn to get off it's ass and get the rest in store for us), the new stools finally for the breakfast bar in the kitchen, putting the changing table in the first floor bathroom and removing the pack n' play changing table/bassinet from the living room, splitting Liam's furniture so he has the tall bureau and Shea has the changing table dresser, and getting the last of the stuff out of the garage and so both our cars fit in there. I am in search for a new area rug for the living room - the one we got "on sale" sheds like a BITCH! Worse than two dogs if you can believe it. And when we have playdates the kids get the stuff on their pants and of course it looks like dog hair and I KNOW that the moms think it's from the dogs. But no! It's the friggin rug!
I'm much more reticent here to put things up such as curtains or even blinds just to do it. My mom is like "When are you getting curtains up in the living room?" "When are you getting blinds for the guest room." Well Ma we aren't getting $5 blinds at Home Depot... our blinds are at least $100/window (except the boys rooms which we are using cheaper shades because Dan remembers yanking his off the window a few times aas a child and we aren't going there with $100 window treatments). I am not in any rush to hang shit up I guess. I guess maybe the living room looks a bit more stark without them... but I just want to get good quality stuff. And we aren't printing money over here so it's going to take a while. We've only had two overnight guests since we moved in and both got up before the sun anyway.
But I'm feeling good about where were are at with the house stuff. This summer will bring a shed, irrigation system and swingset/play structure. I really want some type of chaise for my bedroom and a leather club chair for the living room. Our couches will have to wait til the kids are bigger. We are also going to get a small pub table and stools for the eating area of the kitchen. But we are waiting til the right one comes up... haven't found the right one that will also fit in the smallish space.
Ok Hip Hop Harry (LAMEST SHOW EVER) is on and Shea will likely be awake soon so I need to get Liam's school clothes picked out and the house picked up a bit. Oh yeah and laundry flipped and dinner planned and...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Muffins
So there is one last thing on my resolution list. To lose some weight and firm some things up. Mainly to make my ass a wee bit smaller and to marginalize the muffin-top pants effect I have going on. I'm am not huge and I think I'm lucky in one regard - I carry weight in a way that people think I'm smaller than I am. I know that sounds crazy - because you are thinking... well if she is smaller to everyone else then she must have that there body dysmorphia thingamagig.
No it's true. I can tell people always think I'm a size smaller or more than I actually am. I have never since high school been smaller than a size 8. I think because I have a short torso it might even be physically impossible without being slightly underweight. Because even when I was in the target weight range for my height (5' 2") before I had Liam, I still was in a size 8. Also, it is probably becuase I have so much junk in the trunk.
Anyway - Right now I'm a size 12. And I'm not that worked up about it but it doesn't thrill me either. Mostly because all my clothes from before I had babies are size 8-10. And I miss them. Dearly. And I hate buying clothes in bigger sizes - thus the Kohl's Sonoma jeans in size 12. $14.99 - a lot different than my nice GAP jeans and Ann Taylor tailored pants. Damn if I got back to that size it would be like a whole new wardrobe.
After Liam, I could squeeze into 10s but not for all my pants. And once I started trying to conceive Seamus, it ballooned me up to 12 easily between the stress eating ("I'm not pregnant so I deserve to eat this!") and the fertility drugs.
So I started losing weight in September-October and then Shea started the whole milk sensitivity thing so I had to avoid dairy and that made me eat things like bacon sandwiches. Because everything is better with bacon. Then Shea got the bronchitis and I was stress eating again... then the holidays and I was just eating EVERYTHING. Then more Shea drama and really I blame the muffins on him.
No I don't. I know it's my stress thing. So I am resolved to start the new year by curbing the snacking. Then I'll tackle things like portion control and calorie intake. I have done Weight Watchers twice... once with meetings and once online. I know the concept and can roughly figure out points based on calories fat and fiber content. My plan is to try losing weight on my own and if I get stuck or can't do it I'll re-join Weight Watchers. They actually have a meeting facility around the corner.
And maybe Shea will get moving sooner than later to get me off my ass more. That and my pilates DVDs that are mocking me from a box in my closet.
No it's true. I can tell people always think I'm a size smaller or more than I actually am. I have never since high school been smaller than a size 8. I think because I have a short torso it might even be physically impossible without being slightly underweight. Because even when I was in the target weight range for my height (5' 2") before I had Liam, I still was in a size 8. Also, it is probably becuase I have so much junk in the trunk.
Anyway - Right now I'm a size 12. And I'm not that worked up about it but it doesn't thrill me either. Mostly because all my clothes from before I had babies are size 8-10. And I miss them. Dearly. And I hate buying clothes in bigger sizes - thus the Kohl's Sonoma jeans in size 12. $14.99 - a lot different than my nice GAP jeans and Ann Taylor tailored pants. Damn if I got back to that size it would be like a whole new wardrobe.
After Liam, I could squeeze into 10s but not for all my pants. And once I started trying to conceive Seamus, it ballooned me up to 12 easily between the stress eating ("I'm not pregnant so I deserve to eat this!") and the fertility drugs.
So I started losing weight in September-October and then Shea started the whole milk sensitivity thing so I had to avoid dairy and that made me eat things like bacon sandwiches. Because everything is better with bacon. Then Shea got the bronchitis and I was stress eating again... then the holidays and I was just eating EVERYTHING. Then more Shea drama and really I blame the muffins on him.
No I don't. I know it's my stress thing. So I am resolved to start the new year by curbing the snacking. Then I'll tackle things like portion control and calorie intake. I have done Weight Watchers twice... once with meetings and once online. I know the concept and can roughly figure out points based on calories fat and fiber content. My plan is to try losing weight on my own and if I get stuck or can't do it I'll re-join Weight Watchers. They actually have a meeting facility around the corner.
And maybe Shea will get moving sooner than later to get me off my ass more. That and my pilates DVDs that are mocking me from a box in my closet.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Resolutions
Of course this time of year brings about the resolutions conversation. I can't even remember what resolutions I may have thought up last year - I THINK it was to stop throwing up from "morning" sickness and if that is the case - HOORAY! Check that sucker off the list.
The year 2007 was a doozy for so many people I know. And I am so glad it's over. There were WONDERFUL things that happened - obviously... I had a healthy, albeit nauseating, pregnancy. We sold one home and bought and moved into another though not quite in that order. I gave birth to a healthy son. Liam took SO MUCH in stride AND two months after Shea was born, Liam was potty trained and starting preschool.
I did come to the conclusion hat I don't manage newborn babies and their needs very well. Yes I can meet them and yes I can take excellent care of a newborn. However... I didn't enjoy much of it. With Liam I blamed it on the c-section incision not healing properly. With Shea he had reflux, then the milk allergy and various illness. In reality - I just don't like the non-stop NEED of a newborn.
I may be selfish. I'm pretty sure I am... a bit immature too. But newborns are hard. Some people LOVE newborns. But frankly - other than the sweetness of the small size - the gorgeous little bitty toes and hands and tush - they scream. At least mine do - and with my post partum anxiety - it put me right on edge. to be frank that is most likely why we got Shea so addicted to the pacifier. I could not TAKE the screaming. Like made me want to cover my ears, slide down the side of a wall and rock like Sybil.
So my first resolution is to acknowledge that about me. Accept that it's not a nice aspect of who I am but it is what it is and move on. I'm done with newborns. I have my boys and I am happy with my family. It's ok to not like a part of raising children. It doesn't make me a bad person.
Now that Shea is 6 months old... he is learning to sit on his own...he can spend time in his jumperoo or exersaucer and play. Liam is more interested in interacting with him as well... even playing sometimes. He is getting to be on a regular nap schedule. It's not the non-stop Mama show. I'm enjoying both boys more. I am getting enough time where someone isn't touching me (it's amazing how much you like solitiude when you are getting touched and grabbed all day long) that I don't cringe from Dan and I gather Liam on my lap for books and cuddles.
My second resolution was to tell someone besides my husband and my closest friends about my anxiety and reach out for help. Doing something to take care of myself is really hard for me. But as I sat in my PCP's office and cried as I told her how overwhelmed I felt and that everything felt ten times bigger than it actually was... I felt relief. I walked out with my Zoloft prescription and a list of therapists. The meds are just starting to work - taking the edge off already. I don't want to be on them forever... I'm hoping counseling and Shea getting older will help.
My next step is to actually call and make an appointment with a counselor. I have to do it before my next PCP appointment in 4 weeks. So a deadline will keep me from putting it off.
My last resolution is to circle back and start "dancing with the one that brought me." Dan and I get in these modes where we just power through to get shit done. Keep the kids happy. Ease some burden from each other so we get enough sleep, nutrition, sanity. But we are just starting to get back to enjoying each other. I think he has a similar resolution as seen on his new blog (tech nerd blog that it is) - turning off his Blackberry more. But lately we have watched some movies together... made more future plans together (even if it's house planning its fun). So my last resolution is to put more positive energy into our marriage. The marriage is what is going to keep the rest of the crap from creeping up on us and swallowing us whole.
So those are my resolutions. I hope I can keep them.
The year 2007 was a doozy for so many people I know. And I am so glad it's over. There were WONDERFUL things that happened - obviously... I had a healthy, albeit nauseating, pregnancy. We sold one home and bought and moved into another though not quite in that order. I gave birth to a healthy son. Liam took SO MUCH in stride AND two months after Shea was born, Liam was potty trained and starting preschool.
I did come to the conclusion hat I don't manage newborn babies and their needs very well. Yes I can meet them and yes I can take excellent care of a newborn. However... I didn't enjoy much of it. With Liam I blamed it on the c-section incision not healing properly. With Shea he had reflux, then the milk allergy and various illness. In reality - I just don't like the non-stop NEED of a newborn.
I may be selfish. I'm pretty sure I am... a bit immature too. But newborns are hard. Some people LOVE newborns. But frankly - other than the sweetness of the small size - the gorgeous little bitty toes and hands and tush - they scream. At least mine do - and with my post partum anxiety - it put me right on edge. to be frank that is most likely why we got Shea so addicted to the pacifier. I could not TAKE the screaming. Like made me want to cover my ears, slide down the side of a wall and rock like Sybil.
So my first resolution is to acknowledge that about me. Accept that it's not a nice aspect of who I am but it is what it is and move on. I'm done with newborns. I have my boys and I am happy with my family. It's ok to not like a part of raising children. It doesn't make me a bad person.
Now that Shea is 6 months old... he is learning to sit on his own...he can spend time in his jumperoo or exersaucer and play. Liam is more interested in interacting with him as well... even playing sometimes. He is getting to be on a regular nap schedule. It's not the non-stop Mama show. I'm enjoying both boys more. I am getting enough time where someone isn't touching me (it's amazing how much you like solitiude when you are getting touched and grabbed all day long) that I don't cringe from Dan and I gather Liam on my lap for books and cuddles.
My second resolution was to tell someone besides my husband and my closest friends about my anxiety and reach out for help. Doing something to take care of myself is really hard for me. But as I sat in my PCP's office and cried as I told her how overwhelmed I felt and that everything felt ten times bigger than it actually was... I felt relief. I walked out with my Zoloft prescription and a list of therapists. The meds are just starting to work - taking the edge off already. I don't want to be on them forever... I'm hoping counseling and Shea getting older will help.
My next step is to actually call and make an appointment with a counselor. I have to do it before my next PCP appointment in 4 weeks. So a deadline will keep me from putting it off.
My last resolution is to circle back and start "dancing with the one that brought me." Dan and I get in these modes where we just power through to get shit done. Keep the kids happy. Ease some burden from each other so we get enough sleep, nutrition, sanity. But we are just starting to get back to enjoying each other. I think he has a similar resolution as seen on his new blog (tech nerd blog that it is) - turning off his Blackberry more. But lately we have watched some movies together... made more future plans together (even if it's house planning its fun). So my last resolution is to put more positive energy into our marriage. The marriage is what is going to keep the rest of the crap from creeping up on us and swallowing us whole.
So those are my resolutions. I hope I can keep them.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Anyone else tired of bad news?
I have to tell you that I am getting really tired of hearing about bad things happening to people, especially GOOD people. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my friend Jeff and the loss of his dad just before Christmas. And what a hard year his dad had, which in turn made for a hard year for the whole family. Jody also had a difficult loss in her family and I could feel her sadness for her loss and also for the loss to her mother. Then today I go to a blog I read regularly...Poop & Boogies...and, through his comment section, I investigate and find that William's dad has unexpectedly, it seems. passed away. This after they buried his wife's dad a few weeks ago. And his dad is his chief inspiration for his blog.
I suppose the older I get the more this will happen, but it doesn't make it any more palatable. In fact, it makes life feel less sure, less stable, more fleeting, and vastly more precious.
Rest in peace, loved ones.
I suppose the older I get the more this will happen, but it doesn't make it any more palatable. In fact, it makes life feel less sure, less stable, more fleeting, and vastly more precious.
Rest in peace, loved ones.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Just a Fat Head
That's all! yippie! Just a huge melon! A turnip head! A bowling ball with legs!
It was actually - aside from Shea crying because a strange person was looking at him and putting a transmitter wand against his head - an ok experience. The woman who performed the ultrasound was the same technician who gave me the last ultrasound before Seamus was born. So it was like she had already met him. She put me at ease right away saying "All this because his head's a little big? C'mahhhn leave the poor kid alone!"
After it was done she took it for her supervisor to look at to make sure they agreed with what she came up with and she came in and said "His head is perfect."
Thank you God - I swear he is going to be baptised soon - 2 weeks in fact - please knock the faith-shaking off. And thank you for making sundaes. Friendly's makes everything ok.
It was actually - aside from Shea crying because a strange person was looking at him and putting a transmitter wand against his head - an ok experience. The woman who performed the ultrasound was the same technician who gave me the last ultrasound before Seamus was born. So it was like she had already met him. She put me at ease right away saying "All this because his head's a little big? C'mahhhn leave the poor kid alone!"
After it was done she took it for her supervisor to look at to make sure they agreed with what she came up with and she came in and said "His head is perfect."
Thank you God - I swear he is going to be baptised soon - 2 weeks in fact - please knock the faith-shaking off. And thank you for making sundaes. Friendly's makes everything ok.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
New Year, New Blog
So after some hemming and mostly hawwing...as in hawwwrrrdy haw haw - oh yes I know it's HAR HAR just work with me... I decided to just jump ship and landed here.
I liked the look for the newer blogger features and hopefully I can stay at peace with them and not get all uppity deciding I need more customization because honestly...? Do any of my 5 readers really give a crap if I have a fancy fance blog? No. Anyway here I am NAKED for ALL to see.
Well no - this isn't THAT sort of blog either. And truth be told you all can't handle ALL of this. Besides, I'm sure you like your eyesight just as it is.
I'm still tweaking here and there. But I'm thinking minimalist. Words. Posts. Pictures. And lots of ranting and sarcasm. Susie it up - Fake it til you make it. I'm making all of this up as I go. I don't know the answers - but I will act like I do to win friends and influence people. Also to stay a step ahead of my children. Soon enough the boys are going to catch on and start the eye-rolling-Mom's-crazy-glazed-look thing and I'll go back to talking to my dogs. Until then I hope to capture my prominent and trivial life moments here. Or cool shit I come across online.
I have a slightly new attitude toward this blog. It's still probably considered mommy-centric but what the hell - that's what I do. The Mommy thing. All blessed day long. In fact the mommy thing is making me a bit more ANXIOUS these days than anything which is why I am seeing my PCP tomorrow to discuss said anxiety. We'll talk about THAT another time. Like after the appointment at least.
Tomorrow the hubs and I are taking the Little Monkey to an appointment to get his head examined. Literally. At his 6 month appointment last Thursday the doctor expressed minimal - but notable - concern about the growth rate for Little Monkey's head size. My dad and some of his family have large heads. My head seems kind of big to me. But I guess they want to check thing out to make sure that the size for LM's head is normal for him and there isn't anything brewing in there. I probably sound really casual about this but it's denial.
See - faking it... completely. I am denying this til I am told something is definitely wrong. The doctor emphasized that it was almost always nothing but he wanted to be sure.
Please God.
So let's hang in there together and see where this new adventure takes us. and thanks for traveling with me.
I liked the look for the newer blogger features and hopefully I can stay at peace with them and not get all uppity deciding I need more customization because honestly...? Do any of my 5 readers really give a crap if I have a fancy fance blog? No. Anyway here I am NAKED for ALL to see.
Well no - this isn't THAT sort of blog either. And truth be told you all can't handle ALL of this. Besides, I'm sure you like your eyesight just as it is.
I'm still tweaking here and there. But I'm thinking minimalist. Words. Posts. Pictures. And lots of ranting and sarcasm. Susie it up - Fake it til you make it. I'm making all of this up as I go. I don't know the answers - but I will act like I do to win friends and influence people. Also to stay a step ahead of my children. Soon enough the boys are going to catch on and start the eye-rolling-Mom's-crazy-glazed-look thing and I'll go back to talking to my dogs. Until then I hope to capture my prominent and trivial life moments here. Or cool shit I come across online.
I have a slightly new attitude toward this blog. It's still probably considered mommy-centric but what the hell - that's what I do. The Mommy thing. All blessed day long. In fact the mommy thing is making me a bit more ANXIOUS these days than anything which is why I am seeing my PCP tomorrow to discuss said anxiety. We'll talk about THAT another time. Like after the appointment at least.
Tomorrow the hubs and I are taking the Little Monkey to an appointment to get his head examined. Literally. At his 6 month appointment last Thursday the doctor expressed minimal - but notable - concern about the growth rate for Little Monkey's head size. My dad and some of his family have large heads. My head seems kind of big to me. But I guess they want to check thing out to make sure that the size for LM's head is normal for him and there isn't anything brewing in there. I probably sound really casual about this but it's denial.
See - faking it... completely. I am denying this til I am told something is definitely wrong. The doctor emphasized that it was almost always nothing but he wanted to be sure.
Please God.
So let's hang in there together and see where this new adventure takes us. and thanks for traveling with me.
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