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Shea Meets Biter Biscuit from Sue O'Neill on Vimeo.

New Boys Blog

This is probably getting REALLY OLD to everyone but I am switching out the old Raising Liam blog with a new Raising the Boys blog. I'm going to "tell the world" according to THAT blog tomorrow but thought I'd let anyone who reads here take a peek early. MY husband will occaisionally post on that blog as well. But he's been working late every freaking night this week and only just LOOKED at it last night. Oh and he bought the domain name raisingtheboys.com as well so hoping to point the blog to that domain tonight. No posts from him yet.

That is all peeps! Be sassy!

Sparkle

I have been floating around in this weird feeling over the course of the past two weeks. It has sort of surprised me and I've been trying to put a finger on it but over the weekend I realized what was going on.

I'm happy.

There is that song that goes "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" Well yeah. I FEEL that. And I think I didn't realize how cloudy and mucked up my head was until it was raked out. I don't want to go on and on about the miracle of drugs but SHIT. I was more of a headcase than I even realized.

It was as if instead of wearing rose-colored glasses... I was wearing shit-brown ones. And everything was heavy and weighed me down.

I guess it was weighing me down a lot more than I could self-diagnose. And I think my meds in conjunction with my resolution to focus on me and my growth/well-being/health have put me back into the land of the living. Not just breathing...but exhaling instead of holding my breath.

And I recognized this feeling... this happiness... when I came to the realization that if it all ended tomorrow (not to be morbid) then I have already lived my happily ever after. I love my husband beyond words and feel truly loved by him. I have two beautiful GOOD boys who are symbols of that love and make my days truly meaningful... evening if the meaning is frustration or exhaustion. I have come to peace with my family, especially my relationship with my brother. While there are always friendships I'd like to strengthen and self-improvement to accomplish... I am happy with my life. I am not wishing I were somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else, BEING someone else.

I am doing exactly what I have always wanted to do. And I'm starting to REALIZE it. I guess this is what they call "living in the now."

I don't think I'm the best I can be but that's ok too. It gives me somewhere to go.

So it's grey and cloudy, more snow is on the way, the boys both have runny noses. But let the sun shine in. Let it shine.

Rugquest 2008

So for a while now I have been trying to find a replacement for the shedding beast of a rug we have in the living room. So I saw this rug online at Tar-zhay. It looked cute. And beige.

Needless to say it arrived and is very GREY. Doesn't really go with my chocolate brown couches. I still think it's a cute rug and we may keep it if only because Tarrget will not accept rug returns at the store.... for some stupid reason and we would have to ship it BACK to them in Ohio. It has helped me decide I do want a lighter colored rug in that room. It's easier to see toys on the floor (and not step on them!) than it was with our red-based oriental wool rug. That sheds. Like a bitch.

The dogs might end up getting this in the mud room. It won't show their tan dog hair so much.

The Rugquest GOES ON.

Nose

But of COURSE Liam was up several times last night needing his nose blown and crying for only THAT reason. And of course he was coughing and refused to take Delsym. And you KNOW that when I got Shea this morning, his nose sounded a bit rattley and he keeps sneezing.

If things are on schedule one of them should be pulling their ear tonight when my hubs is at his after-work function and I am dead on my feet.

Poor little things. Liam is so pathetic and EXTRA EXTRA whiney. He must feel like crap. I can always get him to laugh though, when I help him blow his nose and say "JUICY!" when he fills the tissue. HA!

Shea is still in decent spirits - well maybe a little quick to temper today. *sigh* . I had hoped to get them out of the house to the mall today. Liam's most favorite place on earth. And return 2 things as well as get them some "out" time and Liam working those little legs at the mall. But I'm not going to bringing him and blow his nose the whole time. Looks like another day with movies and tv.

I am feeling something going on in my own head and it's not the voices, Sybil, it's the beginnings of whatever they have so I need to get started on the Zicam and Airborne. My brother should be suitable boged out tomorrow with the runny nosed kids (he has none by choice) but he'll get a real-life snapshot of my work life now, won't he?

Also Shea does this thing and I'm guessing it's a normal thing...I've heard of head banging being normal so this HAS to be normal... he flaps his arms a lot when he's sitting down. And then when he's laying down...especially during little night wakings...he slams both feet against the mattress. So when he has a slight waking I can hear thwap.....thwap.....thwap. Liam still makes this weird nasally sound when he's rubbing his blanket at bedtime. I hope he quits it by the time we decide to have them room together - another year or so - because he does it pretty loud.

Ok that's all I got - runny noses and weird child-soothing habits. Whatchoogat?

Crap

Baby was trying to pull up from my lap to the activity table and fell sideways and WHACKED the side of his face on the bottom of the exersaucer. Totally bruising. Fantastic for pictures with my brother. Not that Shea will let him anywhere near him ANYWAY.

*sigh*

Visit

My brother is visiting from California this weekend. He arrives Thursday on the red eye and he will be at my house a bit after 9am. This would all seem quite lovely and normal if it hadn't been 3 years since we last saw him (the week after my Big Monkey was born) and we hadn't gone almost that long not speaking.

The not speaking stuff is water under the bridge now thank God. And I guess I can believe that part of the reason he is visiting is because we have made amends and he is eager to connect with my kids. It's just hard because I am trying to forgive him for not visiting our mother (who lives about 40 mins from me) during that same 3 years. I try to reconcile it but have a very difficult time. My mom has changed so much and her memory is getting worse and worse. She just isn't the same as she used to be and he seems to have blinders on to that fact. I think my mother has aged significantly in the past 3 years. She's now 77 and she has pretty bad rheumatoid (sp?) arthritis. It really wears her down. But her mind isn't the same anymore and that is the part me and my sister and trying to come to terms with. She's so so SO forgetful. My dad has a hard time dealing with it in addition to his own aging and gets grumpy with her instead.

Anyway this post is supposed to be about my brother and not my mom. I'm nervous. I want to get the house in shape but GODDAMNIT I can NOT seem to rid myself of the dog hair. 2 pugs = MORE DOG HAIR THAN A PACK OF WOLVES, Seriously. And I didn't realize this at my old house because it was mostly carpeted on the main floor... but the dog hair blows across the hardwoods like friggin TUMBLEWEEDS and comes to rest on the area rug in the living room. I could vacuum the thing every day and still have a load of dog hair on it come nighttime.

ATTRACTIVE!

And suddenly Liam is starting to have little pee accidents. He has recently started peeing standing up and I think he doesn't point at the potty right away and it goes down in his undies first instead - not every time but at least once a day. He has had an accident of some sort every day for the past week. Frustrating since he hasn't had any sorts of accidents in MONTHS.

Anyway I'm sort of jigged up and jacked up on my brother coming and nervous and excited for my kids and all that. My brother and I were extremely close growing up... things didn't change til he moved and we had several disagreements and misunderstandings.

I gotta get moving. I'm hosting him for lunch Thursday as well as Friday with the rest of my family. I think for Thursday I'll do grilled chicken salads and Friday will be a big tray of baked ziti with garden salad and garlic bread. So this means a trip to the grocery store with both children. Not my idea of fun. GIVE ME STRENGTH!

Bulk

There is something about buying in bulk.. like some things like toilet paper and baby formula... YES! I hate buying those every week at the grocery store. But as I was contemplating buying a huge jug of extra virgin olive oil I was like... What the hell am I doing? Where am I going to keep all this olive oil?!

You know what I'm saying?

OVERACHIEVING

Ugh I was feeling really good about getting Liam to sit down and decorate his Cars movie themed valentines for school. They were cute and each one came with a Cars movie pencil. Then he made some with foam stickers and hearts for his teachers. So we weren't down to the wire getting them done with me saying "ok next! ok next!" he took his time with his stampers and stickers and had fun with it.

Then as I left the school from dropping him off I see a girl walking in with her mom holding a box very carefully. I could clearly see glitter and pipe cleaners and gorgeous - EXQUISITE EVEN -homemade valentines.

And all I could think was "SHIT SHIT SHIT! Why didn't I think of that?"

Roast Pork Tenderloin Supper

I found this on KraftFoods website.


Roast Pork Tenderloin
Prep Time:15 min
Total Time:45 min
6 servings
2 pork tenderloins (1-1/2 lb.)
1/4 cup GREY POUPON Dijon Mustard
2 tsp. dried thyme leaves
1 pkg. (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Stuffing Mix for Chicken
1/2 cup fat-free reduced-sodium chicken broth
4 oz. (1/2 of 8-oz. pkg.) PHILADELPHIA Neufchatel Cheese, 1/3 Less Fat than Cream Cheese, cubed
1 lb. fresh green beans (about 3 cups), steamed

PREHEAT oven to 400ºF. Heat large nonstick skillet on medium heat. Add meat; cook 5 min. or until browned on all sides, turning occasionally. Remove meat from skillet, reserving meat drippings in skillet. Place meat in 13x9-inch baking dish. Combine mustard and thyme; spread evenly onto meat.

BAKE 20 to 25 min. or until cooked through (160ºF). Transfer to carving board; tent with foil. Let stand 5 min. Meanwhile, prepare stuffing as directed on package, reducing the spread to 1 Tbsp.

ADD broth to same skillet. Bring to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low. Add Neufchatel cheese; cook 2 min. or until Neufchatel cheese is completely melted and mixture is well blended, stirring constantly.

CUT meat into thin slices. Serve topped with the Neufchatel cheese sauce along with the stuffing and beans.

A little of this

The Lime chicken came out pretty good. It was a bit tangy with the lime juice and the sauce was thin til it sat for a bit. Dan really liked it and had the leftover piece sliced in a salad last night.

It has been raining here all damn day. It snowed all night so Dan had to run the snowblower this morning. That means he didn't leave for work til 8:30 so he'll be late coming home tonight I'm sure. Plus with this weather will make his 30 minute ride even longer.

Totally glued on American Idol again. I don't really like the use of instruments... seems distracting to the people using them. There are already people annoying me. So..... it's GREAT.

The writers strike is apparently over so THANK GOD we'll get some new Office and Greys episodes soon. We've either been watching movies or web surfing at night. We are two dorks with two laptops sitting in the same room.

I have too much stuff for Liam for Valentine's Day. Again. I always overdo it. I think I still have some stuff in a bag from Christmas that I never gave him. Not big things. I will post a pic tomorrow of him with his little haul. Last night we put together his valentine's for his class. Cars Movie valentine's with a pencil. They don't let us send treats in or I would have gotten the ones that came with the gummy candy. I got Shea a couple of little toys more for Liam's benefit... so he could see that Seamus also gets something.

So today we had a playdate with Liam's friend Mikayla. They've been friends since they were about 5 and 6 months old. She can be a real pain in the ass but Liam loves her and I really like her mom. Who brings me mochas. Well not for that. Well maybe a little for that. And she's really good to my boys. The kids had fun with the valentine's foam stickers and hearts and stampers I got for some crafts time. I also made - for the first time ever - jello jigglers for a special snack. Mikayla is allergic to dairy, nuts, and eggs so it's always hard.. I can't just make cookies or a cake from my recipe box. The heart shaped jello was a hit though.

Working from my resolutions things are going ok... I working on some personal health things - being proactive. I'm losing weight - albeit slowly and mostly because of Lent! Honestly I hoped that the length of the Lenten season would help me get through the "Detox" time and create some new habits. That's not saying I'm not going to eat a pound of chocolate on Easter Sunday. AMEN!

Crappernuts I need to wake Liam or he'll never sleep tonight!

Chicken with Lime

I'm going to try this recipe tonight (from Cooking Light). Husband approved. He better eat it.

Ingredients
4 (6-ounce) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons olive oil
Cooking spray
3/4 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon brown sugar
3 tablespoons lime juice, divided
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon butter

Preparation
Place each chicken breast half between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap; pound to 1/4-inch thickness using a meat mallet or small heavy skillet. Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper.

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add chicken; cook 4 minutes on each side or until browned. Remove from pan; keep warm.

Add chicken broth, sugar, 2 tablespoons juice, and mustard to pan; cook over medium heat, scraping pan to loosen browned bits.

Combine water and cornstarch in a small bowl. Add cornstarch mixture to pan; stir well with a whisk. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat; cook 1 minute or until sauce thickens slightly.

Whisk in remaining 1 tablespoon lime juice and butter, stirring until butter melts. Return chicken to pan; simmer 2 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly heated.

Yields 4 servings (serving size: 1 chicken breast half and 2 tablespoons sauce)

Nutritional Information
CALORIES 260(26% from fat); FAT 7.5g (sat 2.7g,mono 3.1g,poly 0.8g); PROTEIN 40.7g; CHOLESTEROL 106mg; CALCIUM 32mg; SODIUM 382mg; FIBER 0.1g; IRON 1.8mg; CARBOHYDRATE 5.4g

Robyn Webb, Cooking Light, APRIL 2006

S.O.B.

Fellas... if the good wife -EVEN during a difficult day with a non-napping baby and trapped inside because of snow with the preschooler whose preschool is canceled- makes you dinner. It's a good idea not to come home and look at it and say "I'm trying to eat healthier."

Yeah maybe it was on the rich/thick saucy side. But if you hadn't bought all the extra chicken she wouldn't have needed to improvise and without a trip to the grocery store there weren't many options.

Just eat a little... because chances are your 3-year old already turned his nose up at it, your wife is exhausted and just wants to be appreciated for her effort. Not confronted with you and your friggin bowl of Special K for dinner. Because maybe just maybe she'll think "WHY THE FRIG DO I EVEN BOTHER" and feel like crap about it. Because maybe she isn't a big fan of cooking to begin with and it's hard for her to try new things.

Maybe you should be a little more considerate for the effort next time.

Thanks.

Random Boring Crapola

Shea was up 3-5am, so of course now he isn't into a morning nap. He's tired but doesn't want to be in his crib asleep. I know if I take them on a Starbucks drive thru run he will sleep for 10 mins in the car and call it even. NO WAY.

Ugh I wish he would just sleep through the night. Please. God. It used to be just the pacifier but now he doesn't even take it half the time. We tried letting him cry but he is still unable to calm himself to get to sleep. Every 2-3 nights he won't settle back to sleep til he's had a bottle.

So yesterday my doctor recommended 3-4 physical therapy sessions for my hand and feet and a podiatrist. I haven't made the appointments yet but I will. I am just unsure how they will fit in to my schedule and child care and all that fun stuff. The spot where I got the tetanus shot hurts like a bastard... actually my whole arm/shoulder area hurts. We are slightly upping my z-loft dose as well. Overall I'm in good health. The blood draw will tell more but my blood pressure, as always, was good.

Liam just had some M&Ms and offered me one. So sweet! But no sweet snacks. Bleh. Hope I can stick to my Lenten promise. The soda is more the one kicking me in the ass. I see the soda and want it. Bad.

I took some of the money my MIL gave me for Christmas and ordered myself a custom Starbucks gift card - I know it's retarded to order one for myself... but I like having the card because then I don't need to worry about having cash and there is something not right about putting $4.15 on a credit card. So I ordered a Starbucks custom card that has my preferred drink and my first name. I'll take a pic when it comes I should have taken a screen shot of the finished product...oh well. Woohoo!

Ok Shea is not happy in the Jumperoo and I suppose I should do something about that.

7 Things

So Lauren at gigglepotamus tagged me for this meme to reveal 7 things about myself. I assume this would be 7 things someone might not know or unusual things. It would also have to be something I have not already revealed about myself on my other blog Raising Liam. Ok... here goes...

Here are the rules:
- Link to the person that tagged you and Post the rules on your blog.
- Share 7 things about yourself on your blog, then tag 7 people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
- Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I know all the words to about 50 Wiggles songs and it doesn't bother me.

2. I started this blog so I could write about things without my parents calling to ask me if everything was ok. Which is nice, but sometimes made me crazy.

3. Sometimes I read so many well written blogs that it psychs me out from posting in my own.

4. I LOVE AWARD SHOWS. The cancelling of the Golden Globes was like losing a holiday.

5. If the boys and I have nothing to do on a given day, I will think of something just so I can get out and hit the Starbucks drive thru. Actually, sometimes that something IS the Starbucks drive thru.

6. With the exception of 3 nights in December when I was away, I have not slept straight through the night since October. Or should I state it that Shea has not slept through the night since October. This makes me tired and sometimes CRANKY. See #5.

7. I prefer to spell it "theatre" than "theater." but I think it makes me sound snobby and I'm so NOT.

That's it! I won't tag anyone but if you decide to do it - let me know! :-)

GO AHEAD and VOTE

I'm not sure which way you are leaning. Frankly I have vacillated myself frequently over the past few days... but regardless, I hope that there is a candidate... big or small... that has inspired you and moved you to exercise your privilege to vote.

And my friend Jody emailed me earlier today and summed it up VERY nicely (as she is oft to do),

"I don't know if it's enough, but somedays you'd like to think that inspiration can really lead the charge..."

Making promises

I have been pondering my obligation for Lent and what I want to abstain from during the Lenten season. Being a the headcase that I am, it's hard to eliminate some things because I don't want to throw a stick in the spokes of my life balance or lack thereof... but at the same time I want to acknowledge the sacrifices made for me...

So I've decided to give up soda and snacks. Not necessarily snacks like between meals - but snacks that are bad and don't do anything positive for my body. Like Oreos and chips and chocolate bars. I gave serious contemplation to giving up my Starbucks mochas but that is sometimes one of the few things that get me through a day and I am just not ready to take a hit there. Even for the good Lord.

I am trying to come back to my faith in God. I have always believed but I have not always felt it positively... esp the wretched year I was trying to conceive. I have a hard time with my control issues ANYWAY never mind letting God handle anything in my life. But now my children are growing and Liam is at the Age of Questions ("WHY? WHO? WHERE?"). We made the decision to raise them both Catholic til they are at an age where they are educated and can make the conscious decision on their own.

So anyways anyways anyways I want to be a good role model. Dan doesn't believe whole-heartedly in God - his scientific mind has broken it down and most likely he has enough things hurt him in the past and made it a hard thing to believe in so it falls on me at this time. So I'll be fasting on Wednesday and Good Friday and no meat then or Fridays during Lent.

I need some decent meat free meals... can only take so much pasta, eggs and cheese pizza. Not all together of course. HA!

Updated to add: Dan has decided to give up soda for Lent too. I am betting it's more for his diet than for Lent but he's trying!

Feeling fresh

A couple weeks ago I needed to order some stuff from Amaazon*. So in order to qualify for free shipping I needed to spend $8 more dollars. I thought - hey I'll order some tampons! Why? Because after not having my period for about 14 months (I got my first post-partum visit Christmas Eve! Praise the Lord!) I totally FORGET to buy tampons. I have used up my leftovers from before I got pregnant with my last two cycles. So I was in need to get some before my next one started or the phrase "on the rag" would be more true than cliche.

So I saw that they had a special for 3 36-count boxes of Tampaax* for $11. That sounded like a good deal because they were the mixed boxes that I prefer - featuring lite, regular and super for my low, medium, and high needs. All in one box! Yippie! Also I noted that they were cardboard applicator which I prefer because while I destroy the planet with disposable diapers, I tip my hat to the green with no plastic applicators.

They finally arrived last week - because of course in true Amaazon fashion all my items came a day apart in separate tree-killing cardboard boxes because they want me to receive each item separately to get me all excited to see my mail delivery person each day.

Note to Amaazon... I do not have a tall, dark and handsome mailman. He is oldish, grey and has a goatee... looking eerily similar to Colonel Sanders. Therefore I prefer him to stay out by my mailbox, not up close and personal at my door.

Anyways, the tampons arrived and the box is BRIGHT PINK and says Tampaax Fresh! I think Fresh? What the hell? Then I look closer at the box and realize that it also says... in 3 different languages... Scented!

Scented?

Who the holy HELL needs a scented tampon? Cause I gotta tell you that if things are not right down there, you should really be seeing a doctor and not dousing your "issues" with a "clean fresh scent."

Additionally.... how would this scent even make a difference? If you bury a lemon in the sand...can you smell it? NO! Same principle. There is no way that the enclosed area that the tampon is ... filling, for lack of a better word, is going to get enough air to eminate any type of scent.

I have seen scented tampons in the store and always bypassed them for this reason AND for the fact that it skeeves me out to think about putting blatant chemicals up my hoohaah*. I mean I know that some tampons are most likely "treated" with something. So why up the ante and also get a perfumed wad of cotton up the vajaayjay*? I mean can they say that they have tested these things? How would they get a tampon up a rat's grlbits*?

So now I have 108 perfumed cotton flo sticks to burn up my coooch* over the course of the next several cycles. And I saved $5... I couldn't be happier.

*Mispelled on purpose to prevent weird googlers.